940. - Met Gala recap with Lynette Nylander

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone? What's your fucking date of birth? Beautiful day in New York, Jason. It's touching 80. Fuck you. This could be the shorts out here. You know what I mean? And they're not necessarily season jumping. It feels appropriate. I'm sure it'll be fleeting. It's a bit fleeting, huh? It's a bit fleeting, isn't it? Okay. Well, I went from raining in Paris to gloomy in London, but it's dry. I mean, any dry I can deal with. Also, London gloomy is how God intended. You know what I mean? It's not what we like necessarily, but that is what they've been blessed with historically. It's a base level. Just something light. Just a little base level. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Our last night in Paris, we rode the bike over to the Eiffel Tower. Check that thing out. They light it up at night and they do a laser show. Nobody cares about it until it lights with the little lasers. You really did this? Wow, man, that's worse than Jimmy Butler wearing aloe to the Met Gala. But I know why you did it. I know why you did it. I've never been to the tower. And there was a lot of people there who are interested in selling me bottles of wine and cigarettes. And then when I said...

no no no i'm good all i had to do was look at them and they were just on me like like white on rice they started it was a basmati rice um and you know these guys were after me and they're like my friend my friend no cigarettes i'm like no i'm good i don't want to buy cigarettes from you It's not like a hard thing to find. Yeah, your upcharge is not for any good reason. I can kind of get those wherever. But I was imagining all the people who like, you know, we finally get off the tube. We make it. We're at the Eiffel Tower. God, I could go for a cigarette right now. Nothing would make the tower better than a cig. Anyway, so they're following us all around the park and they're like, my friend, I have. Other things, too. I was just imagining how bad the Coke must be from the guy who sells the little meth head Eiffel Tower statuettes. Can't be worse than the weed you get from the Jamaican cab driver. Very true. Afterwards, we were like, okay, let's get a little drink. We went over. There was a bar. The bar was sort of floating on the river. I think it was called Frenchette. Similar, I don't think it's any relation to the Tribeca. I was literally, I was at Tribeca's Frenchette last night, 9.15, table for seven. Ask me how I'm feeling. Oh, well, that's, okay, better or worse than my French experience. Table for seven at 9.15, you say? Yeah, yeah. Wow, that's, that's, that's not, that's a, this is in the red zone for Chris Black, I gotta say. There's a lot of. Extremely red zone. Okay, so we said, we go up, we get a table. And we're on the roof deck. We're on the Lido deck because we want to smoke a fag and have a martini. We go up and there's maybe 400 people up there. And there's one waitress. She's like 19. And she finally makes her way over after like 20 minutes. And she's like, what do you guys want to drink? And we're like, just two martinis. Grey Goose. There's Grey Goose or Ciroc were the two vodka options. We're like, we'll go Grey Goose. Crazy you didn't. Crazy you didn't. While our man's in jail, you can't even. Bro, that's. Okay. We'll talk about that later. That's crazy not to show love. Currently rehabilitating their image right now. But until then, anyway, we're like, yeah, two martinis. And she goes, two martinis. And we're like, yeah. And she goes, porn star or espresso.

she had never heard of a regular martini that's the coolest thing you that's the coolest thing you could have said when you're at a tourist trap in paris that is actually that's that's i would say that's reassuring honestly it lets it lets the wrong person know that they're in the right place yeah that's cool as hell so did you just you said fuck it and said let me get porn we we have a we all share a laugh at the at the confusion and we're like you know let's just you know vodka let's not get tricky we just say vodka no no vermouth no we know we don't need to say coldest space bruised and blah blah blah no you know rinse of rinse over nothing just like just vodka lemon twist no vermouth just the simplest drink it's a one ingredient drink with ice 20 minutes later comes back and she goes the bomb and says we're all out of uh gray goose is ciroc okay And then we just got up and left. Wow. Okay, diva. Bro. When you're at a tourist trap bar and you're like, I'm not going to wait 47 minutes for a martini. I think I've been to Paris 30 times. I've never seen the Eiffel Tower up close. So I am proud of you. That is like the last thing on earth I want to do anywhere. But I'm proud of you for doing that. It is giving Hollywood sign. I've also never seen that up close. I've never done that hike. Who cares? I can see it from the road. I can see it in movies. I don't know. Carolyn knew that I would be down to go anywhere as long as it's on two wheels. She knows me too well. So I was pleased as punch zipping across town on the old limey. But then unfortunately on the way home, we're shoving off back to Shea Omar for flavors of Africa. And then it started raining. So we had like a nice, you know, 27 minute. bike ride in the rain and i felt i felt bad for carolyn because it was it was some all weather conditions that she was not used to i of course have done it you know you name it i've done it on a bike of course

Yeah, I don't want to start naming things. I'm afraid of the answers I would get. You know what I mean? Done it all, you say. Okay, well. All of it. You know what? No anal. Let's cancel our guest. Look, I've topped on two wheels, never bottomed on two wheels. That's just damn dangerous. Yeah, I finally had something I liked at Frenchette, which was a surprise. Oh. Go on. There was just a nice trout. there that i that was good that i wasn't expecting a nice little piece of fish head with no cannons french fries were good um i've i've eaten at frenchette twice in my life and i've it was one of those places i vowed to never go back and i went back and i still probably won't go back but i did like it a lot more you're gonna keep not going back to frenchette every three years for the rest of your life probably i mean it's so close you know what i mean but we're gonna be senior citizen podcasters gonna be like I've never been to France. Well, I went to Frenchette again. I've only been 17 times. Yeah, in the last 40 years. I mean, it was busy as hell, though. They had like a half buyout situation. I couldn't tell what was going on, but it looked suspiciously like maybe like a Republican wine club, which is, I don't have any hard evidence at all, but it was like old white guys in suits, and there was a lot of wine. A guy would come up and say what the wine was and then pour it, but there was some sort of American flag. banner that they had brought in, but I couldn't read the words on it. So it wasn't a young Republicans gathering at the long house. No, these guys were old as hell. This was their nan and gran. But I feel like a cool New York Republican would want to go to Frenchette because the food's great, the wine's great. It kind of made sense. I didn't... They don't have any food from brown people there. Just good old regular Caucasian Frenchies. Just butter stuff. Butter and bread. I think I can get my head around that. I can finally wrap my head around that. Those damn spices are fucking me up. I won't eat none of your Kaus Kaus or anything like that. Kaus Kaus. Well, 9-15 because the GQ party started at 11. If I don't do it because I was at the...

I was at the Pierre shooting Tom Brown stuff until like seven. And then there was like that two hour window where I was on the couch where like, can he do it? you know what i mean is he going to make it is he going to be able to get up without any performance and you had to do it natty that's the that's the problem that i'm doing it natty and i can't even do i don't even like doing espresso at night because it doesn't it just doesn't really do anything it's diminishing returns and i feel like the mental the mental part of it will fuck me up more than the physical right right right the the cons of you not being able to go to sleep later will greatly outweigh the the seven percent energy boost that you get for 14 minutes. Yeah, the 7% battery in my back that I get when I walk in is not worth it. I'm currently drinking a three-shot Cortado at 4 p.m. 4 p.m. is the cutoff, though. You got a big night, so you got to kind of... 4 p.m. I feel like is okay. Well, I mean, my workday begins today, so I will record about fashion's biggest night, about how actually fashion can be art. And then, you know, get my edit on, baby. I mean, honestly, I would love to sit inside today and be in front of the computer. That's the fucking. Wait, you don't get to be? I do a little bit right after, but then I got to run. I got to fucking, I got to, Rostam is doing a screening of his, like, he did that live doc at Sound City. And that is tonight. And I am moderating with him and the director, who's a 28-year-old former college football player. So I wonder why Rostam hired him. I haven't seen him yet. For his moderating skills. I have some ideas that he's a great director, no shade, but I'm saying I wonder if maybe he's got a little body on him. All seven inches of his moderating skills. I wonder if he has a body on him too. Oh, God. All right, but look, so I was at ground zero a little bit yesterday. I saw some unbelievable stuff, as you can imagine. Yeah, you were there with the contacts? Yeah, I was with the contacts. Shooting? Yeah, with... Who was it? We had Bill Skarsgård, too good looking. He looks kind of evil in a hot Swedish way. Of course. The Rock, of course. DJ, our boy. With Bill, it's going to hurt, but you're okay with it. Olivia Wilde, Marcelo Hernandez. Who else was there? I can't remember who else was there. Marcelo's chick, beautiful woman. Beautiful. He's doing well for himself.

Goofy ass. Goofy ass, boy. Okay, you intro. I have to answer our phone, sorry. The phone's calling? All right. Hello. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm on a call right now. Can you come back in one hour? Thanks, mate. Our guest today is Lynette Nylander, a friend of ours who came on last year. She's the executive digital director at Harper's Bazaar. She also is now a podcaster. Yeah, you've probably seen her clips all over TikTok with her and one Chloe Sevigny. Yeah, must be nice. Must be nice. Must be nice. Well, you know, after the How Long Gone episode, she was immediately pulled up to the ranks so she could pod with... With Chloe. The Hearst Corporation saw what they had and they couldn't resist any longer. All right, but let's get Lynette on the horn because she told me, she swore to me that she was going to let it spray this year. Yeah, I remember last year she was holding, she's like, who the fuck are these guys? They're talking a little sideways. And then afterwards she's like. I see what time it is. I see what time it is. If you have us back the next year, she understands the assignment now. I hope there's some good... I hope she can explain to me why 14 people wore breastplates with fake nipples, but that's a whole different thing. Let's give her a call. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot. Because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need a fucking something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. And I mean, it... How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs.

handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive. And that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code how long taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code howlong with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, sort of our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative, but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools. So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept quote unquote donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early, and we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more. Head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain.

All right, Lynette, thank you for joining us on How Long Gone. And you're in the war room. You have an office with a door that closes, don't you? I do. I do. It was hard fought for. It has a crack window on the 25th floor, but it's an office nonetheless. I'm very appreciative. Okay, so yeah, you are in the war room. You're in one of the fashion capitals of the world. The smoke is still settling from the Met Gala. We chatted one year ago. I was actually looking at the episode notes, just a little peek down memory lane. And one of them was, what's his name? Who's the F1 driver that Kardashians dating? Lewis Hamilton. Yeah, one of the questions was, who is Lewis Hamilton's new beard going to be next year? And wouldn't you know it, the prophecy was fulfilled. One of the queen of, you know, that's top beard right there, right? That's the number one beard in the game. And I think that says a lot about Lewis. I agree. You've got to stop. You've got to stop. We've got to stop slower. Yes. But, I mean, he didn't make an appearance. We can't talk about him this year. He wasn't there. They didn't do the whole couple debut thing. And I actually thought she would because she's down for that. Do you remember the year or the six months she was dating Pete Davidson and she, like, went to the Met with him? That was... She was down for that. Pete Davidson recently single. He had a new baby with this chick who has dated multiple celebrities. Crazily enough, it didn't work out. I didn't know. Is she a serial celebrity? Yeah, she belonged to the celeb streets. What do you know? What are you saying? You can find all this info on Google pretty easily. She's been around. Legendary stick man. She's a juggy. Juggie Gal on the internet. We're talking Benny Blanco, Sudeikis. She's got range. Jason probably knows others that he's not willing to say. She likes the guy that can make her laugh. It's interesting that you brought that up because we got Lewis Hamilton, a respected, wealthy, very famous, very put together, intelligent athlete and celebrity. You got Pete Davidson, a guy with the worst tattoos in the world, drug problems, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

They're dating for three months and Kim K is like, you're coming on the carpet with me. And then Lewis Hamilton, she says, you stay home and play Xbox with your friends. There's got to be a one factor that's, and it's got to be Dick, right? What do you think? Oh, good question. I'm sorry. Okay. I just want to be clear of what you said. I'm saying, I'm saying you bring a guy on, on the red carpet on the Met Gala after a few months dating. He's laying the pipe down versus... He's hitting it right. Yeah, Lil Hamilton, he's still in turn three. He hasn't come around yet. Pete's already hit the showers. So all it is to say, Lynette, Chris and I have never been fucked by a dick, big or small. Is that true power where you're like... Do you think it's love or do you think it's lust, I guess, is the real question here. Like, Kim doesn't even... Like, the dick is so nice, you don't even think about do I need to ask if the plus won't... Like, the guy's just... I think you guys are thinking about it all wrong. You don't say. I can't believe I'm even having an adult conversation about this. Tell us how we should be thinking about it. I don't know why I know this, but I have heard that Pete Davidson is very well endowed. We all have. That's his whole thing. Wow, a tall, skinny, white guy with a big dick while weird. White boy come in swinging. I'm just kidding. Working with a monster. i'm just laying down the facts i think so it there you're you're there for a good time you're not there for a long time that's why pete showed up i think that lewis not coming is a preservation of kim wanting to be like this is real this is a thing we don't just like yeah this on the red carpet for everybody to see i think that's actually like you think about in the wrong way i think that probably means lewis is a keeper i think you might i i hate to give you your women's logic credit but i think in this instance you could be right and we could be wrong okay we presented the straight guy logic you presented the female logic i'm about to present the homo logic

Louis did not go with her look. So Louis doesn't come along this year. Oh, also, Paul, they couldn't get custom in time. She's showing up with the orange fucking dominatrix tube harness thing. And Louis is like, I have like the gayest suit ever with a brooch on it. And she's like, you know, maybe you stay home tonight. What did she wear? She wore custom Alan Jones. He's an artist. He's really famous for that fetish. furniture that you might have seen of Lore. She worked directly with him. She went going with an actual designer. Kim in the past has gone with John Galliano. She's gone with Thierry Mugler, the late Thierry Mugler. She's gone with, famously went with Givenchy in the floral Mrs. Doubtfire dress. Was that when Ricardo was smashing Ye? Is that that period? You... Oh! That was yet to be proven. Of course. No, this is all, Lynette, we're on the record as speculators. You and your Reddit conspiracy. This ain't Reddit conspiracy. This is my brain. This is what people tell me. This is what the streets are saying. Chris has Reddit blocked on his website. How dare you? Yeah, I got Reddit blocked on all my devices. I get this knowledge from the streets. I'm tapped in with the people. Okay, do you think the Mrs. Doubtfire full kit stays on during sex? I think that would be a great... If she wanted to, I think that would be great. Why not? I'd do that. Yeah, sure. Oh, because they're taking it back. I mean, you only got hours. Would you do the voice too? Would you do the voice if I asked for it? All right. Well, look, I don't even remember what Kim looked like, but we started the show with a little joke. about jimmy butler because he wore aloe which is the most offensive thing i think anybody could possibly do he wore aloe in a very atrocious fit to begin with until you see the aloe logo hit on the arm pushes it over you know no no no question wore stress wow

I have to say, I didn't see that. I'm looking that up now. Wow, what a way to go. It's a shame because Butler's a good-looking guy, good body. You agree, right? Great. He's beautiful. It didn't have to be this way. I wouldn't mind dressing that mannequin. Am I wrong? That's a mannequin I wouldn't mind polishing. He could leave his aloe sneakers under my bed anytime. You know what I'm saying? I want to talk about, because people were up in arms about the Bezos. Bezos broke off 10 mil, so he got to bring his chick. She's hanging out with Anna. Amazon's been buying tables at the Met Gala since 2012, but now people are mad about it. I think it's a little bit like he paid the cost to be the boss. Whether he's an evil man or not, he donated $10 million to the cause, which I feel like is being sort of forgotten because people don't like him. I don't, isn't that the, isn't that just sort of how this game is played? You know, you bring up a really good point, which is that Amazon fashion have been like, yes, it hasn't been. This is the first year it's ever been Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez Bezos. Yes. That is, you know, that's a big statement. It's obviously a big boy move from them to say, you know, we're here. This is not an Amazon funded thing. This is like two. We as a family, we as a couple are privately funding this Met Gala. It's probably a move to put Lauren Santos-Bresos in more of a societal circle she's looking to be in. But to your point, Chris, Amazon have been funding. They have underwritten the Met Gala before. Amazon fashion, when that was a big thing, they had completely underwritten the Met Gala. Listen, if we really wanted to unpick the funny money, behind the met gala we'd be doing it it would be a mind map beyond we ain't got time for all that comprehension we really don't have time for all that i would say the difference is yes they've been quietly funding it behind closed doors for the last 12 15 years quietly doing it and now her face is the face of amazon so like this this this big you know this elephant in the room now has a face and it's mostly silicone

and things aren't working out well in terms of hair, body, clothes, etc. What was she wearing? She was wearing Schiaparelli by Daniel Roseberry. Yeah, it didn't look very Schiaparelli-ish to me. I feel like there was no... Was the Schiaparelli part on the back? You know what I'm saying? Was there some sort of like... It was intermix for Schiaparelli. It was inspired by a painting. Was it Leonora Carrington? Hold on. I mean... I'm just here to come through with the facts, guys. No, it wasn't Leonardo Carrington. That was Madonna. Hold on, let me find this out. Lauren Sanchez. The painting was a navy blue canvas. Solid. It was Sergeant. It was Madame X, yes. She worked with him and he was inspired by this painting and fit her. I mean, I think it's a bit of a stretch. I think she has a certain way she likes to look. It's titties high waist in. Let's go, bitch. Who doesn't want titties high and waist snatched? Listen, I am into the more conceptual look, but it's what she gives. You know, the hair was blown out. There was no concept. But Lynette, let's be honest, Lynette. The titties out, titties up, waist snatched. That feels like a more classic look than any Met Gala. I mean, that is what everybody wants. Am I wrong? Yeah, but the problem is with her, you can't dress like a network weather girl for your entire life. Once you hit a certain age, it's frankly pathetic when you start trying to look 27. I kind of agree. It's cool. I don't think there's anything bad about it. wanting to look kind of Botticelli-esque. She wants to give that. For the people at home, Lynette is kind of moving her body to show. Yeah, you said Botticelli with your mouth and you said body T-celli with your hands. That's exactly what she did. Well, all right. In extreme contrast to Lauren Sanchez Bezos, Sarah Paulson wore a

what looks to be a custom dollar bill over her eyes as a protest to the 1%. That was Banksy for Schiaparelli, I believe. Was that discussed? Did she say protest to the 1%? I mean, I don't know what else that could be because it looks stupid. Well, let me come in with some school, some facts. All right, all right, take me to church. This is material for Carl's. They are a, they were, they were. Formerly known as Fecal Matter on Instagram. I'm familiar with Fecal Matter on Instagram as well as in real life. Period. Oh, good grief. And they now have a line out of Paris that's kind of backed by the Comme des Garçons group. They showed these collection addresses. in paris in march and they showed it with the dollar bill and that i can't remember what the actual collection is called but i was there it was all it was it was a collection kind of dedicated to sex power money and fetish and so the models had these dollar bills on there so when i'm saying i don't think it was a custom thing it's kind of how it was shown on the runway but her choice to wear it her choice to wear the dollar bill probably does speak to some Yes. Deeper meaning. I like the dress. I think the dress is cool. I do too. I don't know, man. I just think that if you want to protest, you either don't go or you can't do both. You can't go and then be like, all these people are so bad and then be like, what time is my sprinter coming? You know what I mean? The call is coming from inside the 1%, is what we were saying. Yeah, where the canapes are. Do you guys have tuna tartare or is it just beef? Yeah, it doesn't feel real. I don't know. Sabrina Carpenter and Custom Dior film strips with a little headpiece. She got a little headpiece on. I'm weirdly okay with this. I don't know why. I hate themes. I think themes are loser behavior and everybody should just look hot. But I do think this feels maybe too on the nose. Is that possible? This one kind of confused me, to be honest. So the film strips are of the film Sabrina.

The Teenage Witch, of course, a classic of our youth. The Teenage Witch. Not the movie The Teenage Witch. The real hit of our times. And this was Jonathan Anderson's Dior. I mean, I need someone to hit me with the art in this. Like, I get. I'm looking at. You need the Carfax on the art here. Yeah, I'm just a little bit. Her shoes are giving Cocktail Waitress at the Box, which sort of throws it off for me a little bit. But. I like Sabrina Carpenter. You know what? I've come full circle on Sabrina Carpenter. I like her. I think she's dating Joe Keery, friend of the program, known as musician Joe. And I like that for both of them. She's getting that digic. Exactly. I think it's cool. And I'm happy for her. The shoes, I don't love the shoes. But overall, I think that it looks, you know what it is? It looks extremely well made. It looks extremely well made. And it was a swing. At least she tried to do something. Yeah, that's true. She didn't just, the hair is a choice. But at least she did try and kind of think outside the box. I'm confused as how it relates. to art that that bit is like missing well because film is art yes some people not me the way fashion is art oh okay thank you jason thank you news 11 i didn't mean to gag you like that i'm sorry i didn't mean to all right uh i you know there there are some things i think hunter schaefer in the prada my queen i don't even love this dress but i'm just a hunter schaefer head so i'm happy whenever she's out And speaking of, you know, usually she's got the titties out, but this was pretty, I would say, demure. Would you say, Lynette? I agree. And listen, this is a Hunter Schaefer household. It is. It really is here. There will be no blasphemy on our queen, our queen. This was Prada.

and it was inspired by um a gustav klimt painting um if you google it it's like and you'll you'll recognize the girl and it's like clear yeah they have they have just paid homage to that i mean she's just such a delight and again she can pull off her and dara are just so in the pocket and like she can she can do things that other people can't do it's cutesy but again she like had a reference did it i don't hate it Okay, I don't hate it from Lynette. I don't hate it either. I don't hate it either. I would say maybe the best example of the model looking better than the reference artwork that it was referencing. Exactly. If that makes sense. Paloma looked good. Obviously, we're biased, but I thought that was really nice too. We are biased, but we are also fat. You know what I mean? Tough, but fair. That's how they describe this podcast. Tough, but fair. How do you feel about the, the, the diamond crusted ear piece? It's, it's given, it's given drippy. It's given, it's given, you know, you got jewelry. I got, I got real body parts. It's giving, it's giving that. I mean, I, I love this. Yes. Full disclosure to this is at home. Paloma is a good friend of mine, but I really honestly thought this was one of the best dresses of the night and it's actually got such a sick story. francesco riso was formerly the creative director of money he's a kooky little he's a kooky little freak too so i'm glad to see him pulling something nice here he's he's a kooky little freak um he uh i guess he doesn't want to call this his new brand but i guess it's his new project and i'm gonna get the name of it because i think it's like i i think i i think i have it here i think i have it here what is it called It's called Bureau of Imagination. Well, okay, we can workshop that later, Francesco, but that's not going to work. Bureau of Imagination. That's a mouthful. That's a mouthful. The Columbus dress is a combination of over 100 dresses from the 20s, 30s, and 40s that they put together. I just like it a lot. That's fucking crazy, actually. I didn't realize that. That's insane. It's 100 dresses all in one dress, which I think is like, to actually make art by doing that is like,

Exactly the theme. She looks amazing. She killed it the whole weekend. I mean, at the pre-Met party, the Vogue pre-Met party, she wore Lumps and Bumps, Comte de Garçon, 1997, the Seminole collection. It's actually in. the exhibition which i preview i mean that's what i'm talking about someone take me to church take me to the exhibition all right hosier calm down you should get hot okay well speaking of lumps and bumps as you said let's talk about cardi b she was there yeah she was she was one of my favorite looks of the night she was dressed like a mark jacobs hemorrhoid and it was working i liked it thank you so much jason because the apps this this look out of all the looks is the one that's dividing the internet we put this up at bizarre and you should see the comments people just do not get it it's i got hemorrhoids intestines oh i see this now okay this is hideous um i just want to be clear now that i've got eyes on it i really love the pastel like color splots like on the front of her thighs like the really interesting color play with her and her body and her skin and the lumps and her curvaceousness naturally There's a lot of layers to her fat ass. You know what I'm saying? People are calling it fibroids in the comments. Let me come in with my hot take. This is Marc Jacobs. This is a dress, or at least inspired by a family dress that he did a couple of seasons ago, which I don't think he ever said it was inspired by Rykel Kubo's lumps and bumps, but it very clearly is inspired by Comte Garçon. I loved it. I think Cardi... this was a map for all the girls with body to win it was yours to take and like cardi is very open about her her love of a little enhancement she knows you know she openly talks about that ass being you know a crafting of her doctor and i think like to put it on display i thought i thought it was great i i don't think it's for everyone to understand i think that's cool chris

you know catch up because me and jason are like running laps i know i know i just you know sometimes with this and we've talked about this before sometimes i just look at things and i i just am baffled yeah i don't i don't know i don't know why i have such a physical reaction to it but i guess that's the whole point i'd rather you i'd rather it be a hate or love situation than a that's just okay situation you know like i i i appreciate that for sure yeah not everyone has a has a taste for the absurdity yes exactly i want to talk about uh thing one and thing two from heated rivalry because Connor Story's fine ass looked like a PTA mom going to the fucking meeting with a blouse on. But when he had the jacket on, he looked good, and then he took the jacket off. I know you want to show off your guns, big bro, but jacket should have stayed on. I thought it looked so much better with the jacket on. I completely disagree. I disagree as well. You guys are fucking crazy. The only man that can wear a pussy bow is Harry Styles. Let's keep it 100%. No, no. With the jacket on. It made the look just regular and boring. It wasn't bad, but it was just a regular look. He had to take it off. He did look like a female wrestler going to court with the way the sleeves were looking. But, you know, what are you going to do? Y'all can have him. I mean, Hudson Williams obviously looked worse. I mean, he always looks worse. That's the problem with those two. I completely disagree. I think it was chic, I think, to wear a Holter neck. As a guy, you've got to have arms. He has arms. He looked good. I think it was San Aron. I thought he looked good. I think for your first Met Gala, it was a nice, clean look. Hudson... I don't know what's happening. The Black Swan makeup. They actually said Black Swan makeup, too. They called Darren Aronofsky and got... Really? No, I'm joking, but they did go on record. No, I think they did, yeah. And I think, you know, to echo popular culture, why are they in it? Why? Why? I always ask why. Yeah, Hudson...

I just don't think I'm understanding what I'm looking at. I never am either. That's because he's bi. That's the problem. You need somebody to pick a side. Okay, well, I saw a photo where it showed, like on Twitter or something, where it showed the sketch, the original sketch idea versus the final look. And it looks like it could have maybe been who was cutting this. It was their fault more than his because... The sketch looked, you know, much better. It was sort of like when you when you watch Project Runway. Yeah, Project Runway. And then you see the final and you're like, oh, boy. Well, this could also be a stylist issue. Somebody could have freaked it after the fact. Exactly. There's a lot because styling wise, there's just also a lot of misses. Like the pants look too low. And like there were a lot of stylistic choices. Maybe the suit a lot. I don't know. The pants. look too long on the guy. I don't know if you saw him come out of the mask, but he was in a Frette robe. I saw him in his robe, thotting out yet again. Did you like the robe look? You like the robe, Azerson? I thought it was a flex for Frette to, on him stepping out, send the press release saying, custom Frette gown. No, that is cool. I agree with that. That was a look. I just don't really, yeah, I don't know, man. I just think that, also put a shirt on, dude. Like, you're not that, the other guy is the body. That's the reality. The other guy's got the crazy body. If we're going to show Tummy, one of the two should be doing that, and he ain't the one. But I think Saint Laurent overall, though, had the best showing. I think Zoe Kravitz looked good. I think Kate Moss looked good. I think Charlie looked good. It looked good and cool, and everybody looked – I guess maybe it wasn't the biggest swings, but it felt successful overall. Sound around that Anthony Baccarello is giving simplicity. And whether it is the most ostentatious, crazy thing, it's clean. And all of those girls look really, really beautiful. Zoe, I mean, I would say she's a cheat code. If you make that girl look bad, it's on you. It's not on her. She looks amazing. Kate Moss, again, another cheat code. It's never going to be bad. I saw Kate Moss leaving the hotel.

head down walk to the to the sprinter no no stop for photographers no do you think it's because there's a six-pack in the sprinter and she needed a stella or do you think it was like you think she do you think she was making a statement like i've been around the block too many times i ain't stopping for you bozos it's like she's cunt it's because she's cunt she's she is cunt i agree she's mother she's just like listen you tired fools don't get all this clownery at the mark with the robots and the whatever the hell was going on over there she's like i give you a look And I keep it pushing. Okay, so let's talk about nipples, if we could. What's up with the fake nipple thing? Can you give us some background on that? Because they're not wearing skims. These are obviously, you know, Kylie is in Schiaparelli, and so was, well, I don't know what Kendall's in, but they both had the nipples, correct? Yeah. Kendall is wearing Austin Gap Studio by Zach Posen, their new creative director. We knew we were going to see a bunch of these sort of molded bustier sculpted things. It's again, it's kind of body 101 is to always do this kind of corset. We saw Hailey Bieber did it with YSL, that gold with the blue. Kim Kerr. Let me ask you a question, Lynette. As a woman, have you worn something like this? How does it feel? Have I ever, I mean, I'm pretty well endowed in that area. So I don't ever feel the need to wear a sculpt. Have I ever worn a sculpted bra situation like that? Like plastic? No, I mean, I've done it in the corset area. It's entirely uncomfortable. I mean, these are probably like. fit to their body they probably aligned with something that makes it feel better but it's not it's not a it's not a nice situation these guys are probably in a lot of pain i mean kylie i don't know if you've ever seen her get corseted up but she's really she's willing to lose ribs i haven't seen it do you have any videos you could share or how does this work is there a password how does it start and how does it end if you don't mind me asking no i think that the i think that the the kardashian jenner clan

are willing to do whatever it takes and that's something we can all give them credit for no matter what the discipline is yeah exactly so so is it just a full coincidence that both of these people are wearing something that appears to be a skims nipple bra is that just a random coinkydink or is there an actual connection here i mean i think i think it's giving coinkydink but i mean they're all They're all the spawn of Chris Jenner, which is like body at all costs. Do you know what I mean? Do you remember when Kim did that Mugler with the dripping jewels and she worked with Mr. Pearl, the famous corset maker, Mr. Pearl, who actually did. does all the corsets for like the show girls like hat famously has like something like a 20 inch waist like she worked with him and trained her waist to get in that dress yes i do i do remember the late great terry mugler that was one of the last dresses he worked on said girl you gotta You've got to get it down. Lynette, why does my – because I got a waist trainer from Instagram a couple years ago and it doesn't seem to be working quite the same. I still can't squeeze into the Mugler. So I need to talk to Kim about this and maybe see what I'm doing wrong. And, you know, you've got to stop being at these Depop dinners I see you at. I barely ate at that dinner. You know that. Chris, you've got to stop going to Two Boots after the dinners. I didn't even eat anything late night after the party. All right. You guys, Emma Chamberlain. people really liked. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions, but how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned.

They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? You know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and they're just easy, but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. People loved this. This was one of our most engaged posts on Bazaar.com. This is good for her.

you know what i like it too i think it's a little too colorful but it looks good it's cool what is do we know what it is let's see yeah i think it was the best example of taking the biggest swing and having everybody be like yeah this is good like the haters and the lovers are like no this is working you know because it's a big swing she's going through it right now lynette i don't know if you're if you're clear but you know she famously the ex of a role model who is now stepping out with Dakota Johnson. You know what that must do to a woman's? Oh man, that's tough, dude. That's tough. Let's talk about range. Your last girl was Emma Chamberlain and now you're going out with Dakota Johnson. That's, that's, that's a choice. Lynette, let me tell you something, men. We're open. You know what I mean? If you're bad, you're bad. It's not, we don't, we ain't really, you know what I mean? Like everybody's got their tastes, of course, but bad is bad. Well, but also, you know, role model two years ago versus role model. Now, you know, his life has been upgraded, upgraded. So you got to upgrade your chick too. No shade to Emerald. We love Emma, but like Dakota is, you know, it's, it's a different lead. I would say that Dakota Johnson is, is one of the women that men. agree upon most across the board. Yeah. In the research that I have done. You guys have to do this. You have to do the Lord's work. Why? Listen, I think the Gap ad really, really sent me. You mean the Calvin Klein ad where she's writhing around in her underwear? Yeah, it sent all of us. Calvin Klein. I was really like, for someone who was very on the fence about like what, I was like, she looks good. She looks better than good. She looks great. In general, why is it that Dakota Johnson really gets men all puzzled? I think because she's hot. She's very hot in a regular way, if that makes sense. This is how I describe women like that. They're the best version of somebody you know, if that makes sense. They don't look crazy. They don't dress crazy. They just look good. They wear jeans. She has the regular chick.

energy vibe and presence but she has the eyes she can give you the i'm about to fuck eyes in a way that like people in that normal zone can't do does that make sense it does make sense who else has this energy oh that's tough i mean it is tough i there are several examples i mean i think that and it's not girl next door that's not what i'm saying girl you know Or girl you could know and girl next door are very different. You know what I'm saying? You know, I hate to bring it back to an OG, but Kris Jenner, you already know. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Kris Jenner. Kris Jenner in 89. She'll shoot you a look and you say, I don't know what it is, but I'm going to Brentwood tonight. Yeah, exactly. I'm pulling up. Let me know. I'll call you when I'm there so you can open the gates. You know, late night. Late night. I'm dead. I'm dead. No Drake. No Drake. Back to Emma. Back to Emma. I think also she was like. really there wrecking jenzy like she was she was there i mean there were a couple other people but i think she was good i think she tried where she from looking at old google pictures of her to now she's really she's really gone for it and i thought it was good i know i think it's good too exponential growth we love that year over year um alex kasani in gucci and she she did something where she like was sort of covered and then unveiled on the red carpet i like this dress i think it's nice i think it's nice i mean it's fitting that a stunt queen gave us a stunt you know what i mean it's like she that's her that's her social media persona that is her actual persona i've spent time with her and i think she's wonderful um yeah this is good i mean again i want to talk about a dress that only a supermodel could pull off completely nude up top and then the black feathers cascading down i mean i think it was good i thought it was funny on the vogue live stream i guess you can see her tits through the through the i didn't i didn't zoom in so i don't know i didn't i'm sorry i didn't you could see the nipples through the see-through shirt you could see through nipples through the see-through shirt and while she was talking to lala she's literally covering her

I think he's with one hand and has the mic in the other. I liked that as a little. Oh, I just got out of the shower. Obviously, she always looks good. She is a supermodel. But to me, the look was a little boring. And she got she got mocked by Hunter. I'm sorry. I don't know why I put them in competition with each other, but I do. And I think you all do, too. I don't think. Well, I would like to talk about something that offended me personally. And that's another abhorrent creation by Christian Siriano. Speaking of Project Runway. He did our girl Janelle Monae. Hey, Atlanta's own Janelle Monae came in looking like she was going to the Apple store. I haven't seen this. It looks like wires. It looks like the back of IBM when you open the tower. Oh, wait, wait, wait. This was like a juxtaposition of organic matter and like. This is indefensible. Don't even try. I'm not defending this. She looked like a damn Aphex Twin album cover. Real talk. It was kind of giving... You know where you go and you give in your old electronic computers and cell phones? This is electronic recycling center. Scrap pile. It's scrap pile. Janelle Monáe must be applauded for year after year. She goes and she does the avant-garde, right? She always tries to do that thing. Well, the thing about Janelle Monáe is she's beautiful and very talented. And unfortunately, the talent doesn't do much for me. And I think that it's hard. Remember when she did the body reveal? a couple years ago, that music video, and people were like, I didn't know Janelle was holding like this. And that was a big moment. That was a big deal for a lot of people. But the problem is, even that, she thought that was really going to change things for her. It didn't. You know what I mean? No, it didn't. It didn't. No, it didn't. And it's a shame when these beautiful, talented people don't really shine the way they need to. Maybe she needs to see an ayahuasca person. And far more, to be honest.

It's not even flattering on her body. She's got a great body and these exaggerated hips. You can do a gag or make sure the gag actually compliments you. It's not flattering. Point blank, period. What is it? That's my big thing with a lot of this. I think the goal should always be to look good and have it be flattering. I think that gets lost sometimes when we're exploring a theme. You're saying wearing the internet router from 1997 is not showing off the body team? With some grass woven in? It's not working. Wearing the chat GBT data center is not... It's not... It's not going to cut it, sadly. Look, I was with the Tom Brown crew at the Pierre, but Chase Infinity was not with us because she went with, I think she went with Meta or something. She was getting ready somewhere else. But that dress is unbelievable, I have to say. And I am biased, but she looked amazing. She is one of my best dresses of the night for me. Simple, giving puss in the face and the execution. She's like, all you other hoes can scrap and get all these data center. power strip nonsense i'm gonna just give face it was clearly the theme which is this trompe l'oeil effect but done in like reds yellows blues she look that's the best we've seen her look she okay again face unbelievable she is so beautiful to that point i actually think it's kind of like scary how beautiful she is but it doesn't it's like art yeah it wasn't just her beauty it was really really well done it just was good okay well i i applaud the fact that he got all the primary colors on there and it worked it was it was like clashing in a way that was positive it's hard to do red yellow green blue all in the same look especially in a couture thing like this but i feel like chase is so beautiful talented and young and i want her she looked too old for me like she went from being america's new breakout you know sweetheart actress and now she kind of look like

For her first Met Gala, I want her to really make a meal of all of the looks instead of going straight to dressing in your 40s. What would you have put her in, Jason? Great question. Girl, I am straight. I'm not the one to ask, but she just looked too old for me. I see a lot of young people. You get big, you get the thing, you get rolled into the brand deals, and suddenly you sort of just skip your 20s and your 30s. You skip all those stages, and you go straight to like, I'm going to dress like this every year forever. I would rather her skip these stages and look like 99% of these other bitches. So I think that's the thing that's happening. Because you look at Dochi. And you're like, Dochi's young, too. And she went young, too, Jason. You can see her whole body. She got her feet out. And that shit ain't working for nobody. There's a spectrum, Chris. There's a spectrum between Dochi's. Dochi, one of the worst looks I've ever seen, honestly. And I hate tatted feet. I hate tatted feet. Lynette, come on. You like tatted feet? No, no, no. I just want you to really stand by one of the worst looks you have ever seen. Look at this. Who is it? Who did it? Was it Mark Jacobs? It's Mark Jacobs. Look at it. I'm looking at it. The color. The color. Bitch, I'm looking at it. The lack of shoes. The head wrap thing. I don't know. I'm kind of into it. Y'all are fucked up if you like this. I don't like Dochi. I think the music is bad. I love Dochi. I like that she's mean to her staff. Like, I like all that stuff, but this is just. I don't know. It's kind of working for me. And I like feet out. I'm not like a foot guy, but I like to be barefoot myself, so I understand. It reminds me of Princess Leia in Jabba's hut. Bro. Where she's giving kind of like, you know. late 70s captive trade yeah it's giving costume like isn't she trying to be like that that painting with the leg out and the hair flowing it's like you know the one with the leg you know yeah listen do i want to dress like this you know no but i don't have her body but it's not is this the worst thing i've ever seen no no it's not the worst thing i'm being obviously being extreme but looking at that

I didn't like it. Let me say that. I just had a gut reaction that I recoiled. Okay, well, last year or the year before, she had the full Louis V. men's suit, a cigar, and a Louis V. logo embossed on her face like a tattoo. So is that better or worse? Yeah, she makes bad choices. Exactly. That's a pattern of behavior at this point. You know what I mean? We got to get her checked out. Admitting is the first step. exactly what do you think what do you think about our boy Troy twink Troy in the Prada with the Robert Mapplethorpe hair I thought this was kind of easy and fun to just be like I'm doing jeans that's what I've got look as a jeans as a jeans lover the representation matters I think it does matter for a man gay straight or otherwise to show up in these spaces and wear jeans I think he looked like um austin butler at 11 years old yeah he has an incredibly young looking face so but i i thought it was cool jeans he wore prada i think i'm into it i'm into it to just be like this is what i've got to give tonight he was dressed like chris jenner in 1989 yeah honestly stepping out looking good like boots with a little denim and a leather jacket it's all hair teased i've seen a lot of leather ties lately and i've asked people about it and they are in fact harder to tie I mean, I obviously thought that, but I was wondering if there's a trick to it. We verified those claims. I could have left. I don't love a wallet chain, but that's a personal issue. All right, Katy Perry. No, I'm a Katy cat. You know that, Lynette. I'm getting hot. Why is she wearing? I can already tell how she feels about this. Why is she wearing a fencing mask on the red carpet? Especially also her body right now. The body is crazy right now. It's fully covered. Face fully covered. She's ashamed. We ain't getting younger. You need to go torture your girl. Right. I am so tired of this woman's clownery, buffoonery, tomfoolery. Carcassity. Carcassity. It is a lot of carcassity, unfortunately. It's just, what is she doing? And then I saw this picture online of her inside and she thought of...

a glass of champagne and the mask is fully covered so i'm like are you gonna open the window of this little mask and then put the champagne through the hall like what is going on that's exactly what she's gonna do she's gotta get a long hose siphon it in like you're stealing gas out of a car okay well what do you the one thing that i guess i will give her some artistic credit for is is sewing in an extra sixth finger on one of the gloves as an as a nod to ai generated imagery what do you think about that It's a long way to go for not enough payoff. It's just a long way. As my co-host Jason would say, the juice is not worth the squeeze. The juice is not worth the squeeze. Long road for a short trip. What about Bad Bunny, 10 hours in the makeup chair to show up in some Zora? And I loved it. that's what i'm talking about if you're gonna gag if you're gonna do a stunt alina i liked i liked it too i think it's funny and cool i think it's funny and cool on like loads of levels on the top level it's hilarious but when he came on the screen myself and the team were like who is that the prosthetics were so it actually did not look like him so kudos to whoever did that you're like oh baz lerman is wearing zara crazy well i would like going back to what i was saying about emma chamberlain about taking a big swing he did a lot with zara you know what i mean he wasn't just you're just like oh chanel or balencia or whatever is just gonna do whatever He had Zara and he took that from zero to a hundred. He's putting on for his Spanish fast fashion, you know, that's he's putting on. But Stevie Nicks was also wearing, but Stevie Nicks, they specifically stated was John Galliano, Zara. John Galliano, Zara. Ichabod Crane. But is this, Ichabod, I was going to, look, Stevie Nicks is my goat. I'm not, I'm going to reserve comment. We ain't, wait, listen, let's put some respect. We are all too. We shan't speak ill of that Babadook asshole because she's got a voice of gold. Carolyn, my wife, said that Bad Bunny was sort of giving Mugatu from Zoolander. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he is giving. No, he is. That's good. He is. And he probably, maybe that's who he was shooting for because he's like Zoolander. Very phony. And maybe not to like make it, maybe I'm being too like deep with it, but like a lot of time in fashion we talk about.

you know a body but it's this idea like idealized version of a body and for him to be like what about the older body motherfuckers like like I thought it was I thought it was cool it worked on loads of levels he's the only person who would do it he's the only person who would make it like funny I saw this video of him hugging Kris Jenner he famously went out with uh kendall and i don't think she's still he's still hitting on the low from what i hear but go ahead well there you go fun fact but no and she he went up to christiana and i'm sure he that she didn't know who that was no she reacts she definitely doesn't know it she didn't know who that was is that you benjamin yeah she does yeah i saw a picture of him this week also he was running in new york and he was wearing a full adidas he was wearing like a full adidas kit with a fucking He looked crazy. He looked like a robber, and it was also very cool. I really liked it. I really liked his running outfit. But was it Aloe? But was it Aloe? He's an Adidas athlete. He's in Harry Styles' plate trying to get his little jogging in New York look on. He ain't hitting the Harry times, but that's a different story. All right. Well, we should talk about the first family, Beyonce and her child. She got mogged by her child. Do you feel like you can be honest about this, Lynette? Or do you have to? Are we playing political? parkwood games over here listen it's something i don't even need to be political because that is my girl i and they're a skeleton what is going on she looked a mess just be honest she looked a mess come on it's it's diva dumb it's a diva dumb on on on a level that we are just not meant to understand as the memoirs. Like, skeleton, encrusted skeleton with feather, with headpiece, with earrings. Without enough fittings. You know? We need to look good from all angles on the Met Gala carpet, not just the front, okay? We just can't have things pinned, okay? There's no pinnage, okay? This is custom Olivia Roostang. Don't act like custom Olivia Roostang is a flex. Let's be honest now. It's a flex because it's about loyalty, guys. It's about loyalty. He's dressed up when he was outbound. The only person he's loyal to is his plastic surgeon and his hair lady. That's the only people who he's loyal to.

I'm loyal to Marcy Projects and my plastic surgeon. He's got, no, I mean, Olivier has got box braids that will make the chicks jealous, though. You know that, Lynette. I think this is the first time I've seen Blue Ivy. Look great. Blue Ivy looks awesome. Blue Ivy looks amazing in Balenciaga. I mean, somewhere northwest is like, what the fuck? Northwest looks like she fucking, you know, looks like Hot Topic threw up on her. That's child abuse, the way she looks. They got to stop her from doing everything. They got to put her somewhere else. But I mean, in the sense of like, where was her ticket? I think it was like, it's a big flex. And apparently, you know, there's no under-18s rule of the Met that was broken. the blue to to to be there on the night i mean i think that's blue blue's close i mean bill i mean uh kanye's kids like 11 or 12. so i feel like blue's like 15. yeah she's probably like 15. i i mean i think she just looks cute as a button it's like age appropriate but i actually kind of like it's it's a nice dress it's it's perfect for her and then jay in the louis damn blue is 14 crazy not that They're kind of the same age. Yeah, it's so crazy that her and fucking Northwest are two years apart, and it seems like an adult and a child. I forgot. Hold on. I forgot to... I saw him last night at the GQ party, and I was gagged in a bad way. Sam Smith. Oh, no. One of the world's worst dressers. I saw somebody say, here come Jason Kelsey down the runway. What's up with the headpiece? It's just always a lot for so little. It's Christian Cowan, who I believe he's in a relationship with. I think that's his partner or their partner, I should say. It's really, really, really always not what I think that he thinks it is. That's right.

That's right. That's exactly right. What was it like in person? As someone who witnessed it. I believe, I didn't want to make eye contact, but I believe that the headpiece was lowered. Like I feel like the head top. It was dressed down a little bit. I think they did a wardrobe change in the limo. Right. He changed into his comfortable hooves. Yeah. Put the hooves on. My comfortable anti-antichrist hooves. Put the hooves on them. All right. You know, I love Coleman Domingo. This didn't work for me. I didn't love it. It looked like a quilt. He looked like the standard hotel in London carpet. I love him. I think he's great. I think he's charming. I think he's a great actor. He's great looking. He usually looks great. But, you know, you can't win them all. He was kind of serving 70s game show hosts. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder what the reference was. Because it's like a Harlequin outfit. But you know what? Coleman Domingo is one of the only men in popular culture, I would say, who does anything that is relatively interesting when it comes to men's wear dressing. This, I agree. I've seen sort of... that uh looks from him can't win them all you know it's not a win it's not a loss it's just there what let's talk about something a little more wild skepta's tattoo jacket ring ring pussy i learned that all of his tattoos are awful except for the boy better no logo i mean because he's such a cool guy he's he's such a handsome talented rapper but even him he's got the casino sleeve with the spinning roulette wheel and he's got the pound symbol you know the dollar signs tatted on his arms and as a person with as a person with some tattoos that i might not be super proud of i do think that when they're uh kind of held up to you like a mirror in this way i'm sure he had some thoughts about it i'm sure he was doing some reflecting yeah but the biggest thing the biggest thing at the at the pierre was that his pants weren't the boiler suit the pants were not tom brown you know they weren't the usual cut i think they had to make some concessions for skeptic can you make it not gay yeah exactly exactly i to me also like

the drawings on the front like the london bridge and the boy better no logo and like the union jack flag is giving and the pound sign it's like yeah you're british we know and i'm saying this as a brit like It's a little on the nose. You don't have, you don't have, first of all, you're telling me you don't have a Union Jack tattoo somewhere? I find that hard to believe. I mean, it looked like a tote bag that you get at like the train station. Exactly. I didn't know he had the, that is, now I'm thinking about it. Yeah, that is a lot of tattoos letting people know where you're from. And also on the back, it says Skepta on his back across his shoulders, like your name on the back of your football jersey. That's hard though. Fuck that. I do black big as hell on my back. that's that's fire arsenal logo of course for him to replicate all the tattoos he actually has why didn't they just make a freaking see-through or transparent jacket and just have his tattoos on this to do a version of the tattoos he has is just Why? You're overcomplicating something that could be so simple. Yeah, you don't have to make fashion out of the art when the art is right there. It's right there. Guys, do you think a rapper that's not ASAP Rocky is going to wear a see-through shirt somewhere? That ain't happening, guys. When you're as hot as this, you should try it. What's your relationship to Skepta, Lynette? What does that mean? I'm just asking. I feel like you guys might have her. Not like Roman. I just feel like you know it. Do you follow him on social media? I do not. No, I actually don't call him on social media. I will write that wrong after this taping. I mean, I grew up in East London. Boy better know. And Grime was a huge part of my growing up. Before you Americans knew what Grime was, I was listening to it in my bedroom on Empire Radio. Oh, shut down. Shut down. Okay, Lynette. I don't think you realize you're talking to two guys that have been beasting the underground for decades just because we're older than you. Beasting underground. Mate, you're not really from the fucking ends then. I was at Fabric when you were in primary school, mate. Yeah, I don't think... Primary? Primary? Oh, okay. But I find...

I think rappers in these cases are very, when it becomes, there's a few guys that'll embrace it. I feel like in everybody else, I think it's a really tough conversation to get it to a place where everybody's happy because it's just sort of like everything is a little gay or a little tight. Because Rocky has the whole, I'm going to dress like your grandma thing kind of cornered so other rappers are confused. I mean, the three other rappers who get invited to the Met Gala. Yeah. You know, it's tough. It is tough. And I'm, you know who looks really good? What's our boy's name, Jason? The really good-looking guy with the big arms, and he's got the white. They live upstate. I think he was in – oh, fuck. He was in one of those – he wears Tom Brown a lot, but they were wearing Gucci last night. Or excuse me, they were wearing Tom Ford last night. They looked so good. Not Morgan Spector. Morgan Spector. Morgan Spector and his – they looked good. Morgan Spector, who's – Sheik. One of those guys who's – quote unquote straight somehow oh the one that's married to rebecca hall yes they looked really good they did look really i really like her look it's very simple if you're going to be a gay guy that's married to a woman at least like come with like a fierce couple's look like that's what it's for right they were one of the best couples of the night it's got nothing to do with the theme but it's serving again serving curse that's what yeah you want you want them to notice you from across the bar at the at the carlisle right exactly How could you not? Hit that Eiffel Tower. Okay, do you guys have a best look? A worst look? Okay, I'll start out. Condition on this one is it's because we all saw it from a bad angle, but I'm going to give it to our girl Rachel Sennett. But then I saw it from the front, and it looked really good, and it was great, but... it was photographed widely like from the side and the angle just made it so unflattering. I felt really bad for her, but I saw it straight on and I thought it looked cool. Oh, I'm sorry. Is that your best or your worst? I'm confused. Worst. Best? I kind of want to give it to Tiana Taylor. No, bro, you're out of your fucking mind. Or Kris Jenner. Kris Jenner or Tiana? Kris Jenner, bro. No, Kris Jenner looks like she's at the pool in Palm Springs. She was dressing age-appropriate, elegant, older woman, something that some of these people like Lauren Sanchez should be thinking about. But Tiana, I always hate how Tiana Taylor dresses and acts, but I like that she completely covered her bodacious body with these weird metallic...

crystal it is rare for her to cover her bodacious body that's true yeah she's always showing her fucking male stripper cum gutters and shit and she's wearing like a fucking flapper you know whatever i like that she was like an indistinguishable orb floating through space it was cool of her to do that i gotta i chase infinity is my best for sure i just really liked it i thought she looked so cool and worst i mean where do i begin i mean i think that I got to say Dochi. It's offensive. That is a real... That's really unfair. Actually, I'll give it to Jimmy Butler as well. Yeah, Jimmy Butler does that. You know who I also... I thought that Nicole Kidman and Lena Dunham had similar... There's some similarities there. I think they both look kind of good and appropriate. Yeah, they both look good. Okay. Let me just come in with mine. I would say best dress is... I would say Paloma. I would say Chase. I would say Nicole Kidman. She was actually who I was. I loved that. It's just giving Mother down. Like, she just is above it all. It's so, she is the campus celebrity on the record. Like, it's so good. I love it. But to say that is the same execution as Lena Dunham solely on the color. No, no, I'm not saying same. I'm not saying same execution. I'm saying there are similarities on color and even the fabric. Yeah, like sequin and feathery, dark red thing. I don't think that's crazy to say, Lynette. I think anybody looks at those pictures. Obviously, they're different dresses and different people. But I think you could see the similarities between those two. Kidman looks amazing, especially for her age. But, you know, the dress was fine. It was kind of boring. I think I think Lena was taking big swings, even though she kind of. bleached out the eyebrows, which is something that, you know, our girlies lets you know that they're going through something, right? Lynette, when's the last time you bleached the brows? I bleached my eyebrows last in 2023. I'll send you a picture. What was his name? Who put you through it? Who broke your heart that made you cry for help?

what was his name say his name that's crazy that's crazy because it's actually true and also i feel bad i feel bad for nicole kidman's kid because their name is sunday rose kidman urban that's tough what a funny name but she's going to the met gala with dior and she's like 17 so she's yeah she's fine she's doing so she's fine what all right who's worse then you know what i'm giving it to katie perry and it's actually not even the worst i don't think like i think if i really was scrutinizing i found worse no no no let me do it that's implied we all know there's always a worse look but there's always something attached to it yeah i'm giving it to katie it's just she's just such a clown town of a celebrity like she's another person that needs an iowa she doesn't need to go to space again with her girlies she needs to go on like three-week ayahuasca retreat in the Buenos Aires jungle or some shit, and then come back and be like, y'all, I'm so sorry for the last 10 years. I'm cool again. Y'all are... Man, all right, fine. All right. We speak this way because we care that much, Chris. No, I'm kidding. She deserves to get dragged for that one. All right. Lynette, it's a pleasure always to see you, to have you on How Long Gone, to just hear your beautiful voice on the microphone. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for offering your insights. They seemed less reserved than last year. We're warming you up, and we like that. We're warming up. You're starting to get the hang of this podcasting thing. Lynette, when does your podcast, how often does your podcast come out? the goodbye the hop is our podcast comes out bi-weekly we just had chloe 70 on the go um a couple more episodes this season so nice yeah we didn't talk about rihanna but it's too late now we could talk about in the comments it's best that we don't yeah i'd rather hate to say bad things about One of my all-time goats. We don't. Jason can't. There's a few things Jason won't speak negatively on, and Rihanna's one of those things. At least he knows. All right, listen to the podcast, and they can find you all over the harpersbizarre.com website, I'm sure, as well. And in book. You absolutely can. I mean, where can't we find you? Lynette said. Ah, Lynette said. Always a pleasure. Good to see you, Lynette. Honestly, thank you. Bye-bye.

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