★ Temu Is a Comically Bad App

Cabel Sasser on Mastodon : the temu app will be studied for generations. i opened the app, and recorded this unedited, nearly two minute, launch sequence. it somehow just gets funnier and more absurd I agree with this sentiment, right down to the fact that Temu doesn’t deserve capital letters. I placed an order from Temu back in August 2023. At the time Temu was the #1 app in the App Store. I surmised it was some sort of crap store, but wanted to see for myself. It is in fact not merely a crap store but a spectacular crap store — like if a souvenir shop on a Jersey shore boardwalk were the size of a football stadium. Thousands of items, many of them rip-offs, at absurdly low prices. I bought ( screenshot ): Two Apple Watch straps. One of them knocking off Apple’s Braided Solo Loop for $1.88; another knocking off the Apple Watch Ultra Alpine Loop for $2.34. A pair of knock-off AirPods: $8.98. Another pair of wireless earbuds branded “Lenovo” but definitely not made by Lenovo: $10.25. A knock-off Apple Watch Ultra (“ Smart Watch Answer/Make Call 2.19" HD Full Touch Screen Watch With BT Call, Fitness Tracker With Heart Monitor ”), which included both orange and black (misspelled “balck”) rip-offs of Apple’s Ocean Band, for $16.49. A “Magnetic Suction Anti-Lost Lanyard” for, I think, AirPods: $1.79. An iPhone case: $3.46. Grand total for all seven items: $48.81. I ordered it all on 20 August 2023, and it arrived at my P.O. box on 2 September. The contents of the box looked less like it had been “packed” than “picked out of the trash and hurriedly stuffed into a box”.

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